But then, you go out for something you really, REALLY want, and you have to wait to see if you got it. You have to distract yourself and try not to think about THE THING. I am also terrible at that. The Anxiety has a rotten side effect of obsessive thinking. So, instead of distracting myself, THE THING is the only thing I can think about. Thankfully, the excellent show I'm helping on, The Mystery of Edwin Drood, has kept me busy for some of the wait time. The rest of the time, my mind keeps churning over the possibilities: "Did I do well enough during my audition?" "I know I'm totally inexperienced! But I do spend a lot of my life trying to act normal!" "Am I the puzzle piece they are looking for?"
Gaaaaaaah! And why do acting classes have to cost so much? I don't see ever getting a paying acting gig, so I don't think the Hubs would be on board to pay anything much for a lesson. These are the things that make me so frustrated and angry that I was held back by fear for so long. All those years wasted!
Anyway, the "call backs" for the show are tomorrow evening; but, so far, I haven't been called back. Apparently they only contact you for call backs if they want to see "something else" from you (whatever that means). It doesn't mean they won't be casting you, and it doesn't guarantee that they will cast you. So I won't know anything until Thursday at the earliest?
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
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